a gthing science project

Posted by sam at November 21st, 2005

    For those of you unfamiliar with the rootkit fiasco, the latest SONY audio CD’s have come with software that secretly installs a phone home program on your computer. Not only does the program constantly call the mother ship, but it contains major security holes that allow virus writers to more easily infect your computer.  This helps to further my hatred of all things Sony. 

But what does the RIAA have to say about all this?

    “In a press conference held on Nov 18 Cary Sherman, the president of the RIAA, stated in reference to Sony BMG’s “rootkit” software that “there is nothing unusual about technology being used to protect intellectual property.” According to Sherman, the problem with Sony BMG’s XCP DRM software was simply that “the technology they used contained a security vulnerability of which they were unaware”. He goes on to praise Sony’s “responsible” attitude in handling the problem, saying “how many times that software applications created the same problem? Lots. I wonder whether they’ve taken as aggressive steps as SonyBMG has when those vulnerabilities were discovered, or did they just post a patch on the Internet?”

    The other interesting thing about the rootkit software is that it contains copyrighted code that was used without permission. 

    In the quote above, the president of the RIAA says there is nothing wrong with that.  That’s an interesting statement given the RIAA’s mob-like enforcement of copyright law.  I guess it’s only bad when its THEIR copyright that is being infringed.  Of all the hypocritical things to do. 

    Well, I’m off to copy some CD’s, this time with the cartel’s blessing.  Copyrght infringement is OKAY according to Cary Sherman.

Posted by sam at November 19th, 2005

    I wait until I’m exhausted to go to bed.  Even then I cannot get to sleep.  My lack of job, school, or life in general has me sleeping later and more than I should. 

    After being late to Steve’s wedding reception today (because I was in bed), I have decided to attempt to adjust my sleeping schedule back to a socially acceptable routine. 

    The smart way to do this is to go to sleep and wake up early the next morning.  The lack of sleep, combined with a full day will leave you tired.  But who wants to do that?  It involves waking up early.  What better time for unhealthy sleep expirements than my current situation? 

    So I’m going to pull an all nighter, stay awake throughout the day, and hopefully go to sleep at a reasonable hour.  My goal is midnight or one, usually when I’m getting my second wind.  If I feel another wind coming on, I will supress it with drugs, but only as a last resort.

    Since I have nothing else to do, and since it will help, and since you’re bored enough to keep reading, I’m making rules to ensure I do not fail in this venture.  Here they are:

No sleep during the day, period
caffiene is acceptable
Spend most of the day OUT OF THE HOUSE
Accomplish at least 3 things I’ve been needing to do
Loud music

That is all.  Thank you for your time. 

p.s.  I changed my layout back, sorta.  A compromise.

And I got a new hat love it.:

Posted by sam at November 19th, 2005

McCall

Bruce and his girlfriend(?)

Steve looking like a weirdo.

I do not deny that I am trying to copy ’s style, and not nearly doing it justice.

Posted by sam at November 18th, 2005

    That’s right, Steve got married today, and while we will no doubt remain friends, he has now joined a club to which I do not belong.  I will forever be denied acces to the marriage clubhouse.  So while they’re writing secret codes and making cool club hats, I’ll need someone to go “pick up on chicks” (read: sit around and do nothing) with. Any takers?

    “One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

    J.R. Tolkien obviously knew what it meant to put a ring on someone’s finger.

Posted by sam at November 17th, 2005

    So remember a few weeks ago when I was making fun of iPods and how people hold them sacred and pray to them and whatnot?  If you don’t remember, you can click here to see what I’m talking about.

    Well seems Gizmodo is throwing a contest to see who can build the best iPod shrine, accompanied by a description of why the iPod is sacred.  Amazing!  It seems my humourous exaggeration was not an exaggeration (or probably humorous) at all!  You can’t exaggerate about people’s love for iPods, because they will always suprise you.

Posted by sam at November 17th, 2005

I have changed my layout.  Changed the picture, borders, title font, and width of the entries so that I can post larger images.  What do you think?  Does the width make it more or less readable?  You can see what the old layout looks like on my friends page…  Comments please…

Posted by sam at November 17th, 2005

This is my new pet, Nathan Scott Phillips, III.  Isn’t he cute, all small and hairless and with his cute little eyes and tail?

Awww, that’s precious.  Little Nathan is smaller than my little thumb.

This is stitch cuddling with Nathan, from the inside.

Posted by sam at November 15th, 2005

    It is now a little after 5am.  I am not waking up, oh no!  I am just about to lay my pretty little head down for some sleep.  Hopefully Dave will be over tomorrow to wake me at a decent hour to begin our Aqua Teen Marathon.  That’s right, I “own” all four seasons.

    As I sit in my room (which, for some reason, smells like grahm crackers), I am reflecting on my day, or rather night - since that’s when I tend to operate.  I would like to tell you of the extreme (Read: X-treme!) adventure I had today.  It will blow your mind, but I swear upon cherry slurpees that it is true.  The following story is actually not true, but I bet you’ll keep reading anyway.

    I woke up around 8am, which is early for me, considering I don’t have a job, school, a life, or any other reason to be anywhere at any specific time.  I decided that since most my days were filled with sitting, some standing, and then more sitting, and eventually laying down that today would be different.  Today I would have an adventure.

    So I saddled up Hermes, son of Zeus, who is my horse, and began riding into town.  I rarely made it to town because of my extreme laziness, so the day was already an extreme (X-treme!!!) adventure of sorts.  About halfway along the journey to town, I noticed up on the mountain a bright light, as if someone was using a mirror to reflect the sun into my eyes.

    Hermes, sun of Zeus, freaked out and starting doing that thing that horses do when they’re freaked out.  It’s like, jumping but only with their front two feet.  I think it’s called bucking.  Yes, Hermes, Song of Zeus, began bucking and I fell off.  Hermes, Son of Zeus, ran away and I was now stranded. I hope someone finds him and turns him into glue, that prick.

    Having no desire to walk to town, or back home, I decided to check out the shinning object in the mountain.  So I began walking to the mountain, and soon realized it was a really long freaking distance away.  It was many leagues, at least or at least half a mile.  This was going to take longer than I thought.

    The sun was high in the sky, meaning it was about noon.  I had not yet made it to the shining object, yet it was there, all the time, still shining like the north star except without clouds.  But I was getting hungry, so I stopped for lunch. 

    There was no food around, as Hermes, Son of Zeus, was carrying it all and took it with him when he ran off to the glue factory (at least I hope that’s where he went that prick!)  So as I sat thinking of what I would like to eat, I began to daydream I was at Ye Olde Tyme McDonalds.  I ordered a burger and sunk my teeth into it.

    I was rudly awakened by the several piercings which the cactus plant had just given my lips.  I snapped out of my daydream and realized that I had in fact ordered a cactus and not a hamburger and was now eating it.  Realizing that there are starving kids in Kentucky somewhere I decided to finish my cactus to show how grateful I was to actually have food.

    I then stopped and dropped 35 cents in the mail (less than the price of a cup of coffee) addressed to Susan Sommers, so she could help those poor, starving Kentuckyan kids.  WOAGKJFEHQ!!! HUGE SPIDER!!! …….okay I got it, the sotry may continue.  Gross.

    I finished off lunch with a drink of my own urine.  I didn’t have to drink it because there was a fesh spring not 50 feet away, but it’s sterile and I like the taste.  Then I thought about playing dogeball.  Then I started walking again.

    It wasn’t long before I came upon a pack of wolves.  They were out hunting apparently, because they all looked really hungry.  I don’t know what a hungry wolf actually looks like, or if there is any difference in looks between hungry and non-hungry wolves, but for the purposes of keeping some suspense going, lets just agree that they looked hungry, and they were now looking at me as if I was a big piece of steak.

    I remembered that part in God’s Must be Crazy: 2 when the kids scared of the hyena by putting a piece of wood on top of their heads to make them look taller.  I found a piece of wood and tried it.  I didn’t work at all, and the wolves all just looked confused (bare with me on the wolf looks thing, okay?)  It was a dumb idea as wolves are from the genus Hyaena and Dogs are from the genus Canis, and so would not likely have similar responses to predatory stimuli.

    As the wolves got closer, I had another great idea.  What if I turned my bed 90 degrees to the south and moved it to the other end of my room?  It would increase my floor space by at least 30% and give me room to put a couch and coffee table in there.  As I felt the wolf’s teeth sink into my neck I realized it was a bad idea, a very bad idea.  It would block access to the door.

    Fortunately for me, I had been wearing my neck armor that day, and the wolf’s teeth barely even broke skin.  Also, I was wearing my razor sharp spiked sweater, so the wolf that attacked me was now cut to shreads and lying on the ground next to me.  Awesome, I thought, as the wolf leader stepped forward.

    I could tell he was the leader because he was the biggest, and had on one of those big hats that indian chiefs wear.  He spoke; “Sam, I am El Guapo San Juanchez, I am from Mexico and have brought with me a large shipment of Gold.  You have proven yourself worthy to have the gold.  I have no use for it, since I am a wolf.  I have hidden it in a cave 50 yards to the west.  There is also a truck there, which I don’t need because I’m a wolf.  You can take the truck and the gold.  It’s a pretty nice Dodge Ram that shoots black smoke out the back when you accelerate.  It’s all the rage now with the kids.”  He then left.

    I thought, holy crap, a talking Wolf.  I should have captured him and sold him to science, I could have been rich.  I continued on.

    I was getting closer to the shiny object on the mountain.  However, my run in with the wolves had left me tired.  I laid down and took a nap.  It dawned on me that a razor sharp spike sweater was not such a good idea, especially since it was hot out, so I took it off and used it as a pillow, which ultimately turned out to be a bad idea as well.

    I slept for about 10 minutes (I could tell by the position of the sun, and also my watch) when I bird landed on my forhead.  He had in his mouth a fig leaf.  I thought, that’s weird, since Figs are not indigenous to this country.  He then flew away.  It was a sign, but I’m not sure what it meant.  The wolf’s words echoed in my head “It’s all the rage these days.”  I’m still not sure what it meant, but that’s what happened.

    I realized I was prety close to that shiny thing so I begun walking again.  As I drew closer I lost sight of it.  Then I realized my eyes were closed for some reason so I opened them again.  As I saw what it was I could not believe my eyes.

    Turns out it was just some stupid kid playing with a mirror and trying to piss me off.  Well, it did piss me off.  So much so that I kidnapped the kid.  I knew a guy who knew a guy’s cousin who had invented a device that turned small children into gold.

    Without much trouble, I made may way back to the road and hitchiked into town.  I found the guy I know’s friend’s cousin who put the kid in his kid to gold machine.  After a few minutes I had my very own solid gold kid.  This was a seriously cool invention, I bet there will be one in every home someday.

    As I walked out of the slid gold kid parlour, I was greeted by my horse, Hermes, son of Zeus.  He had not been turned into glue after all, and had been secretly following me the whole time to make sure I was safe.  I strapped my golden child onto his back and lead him off into the sunset.

Posted by sam at November 13th, 2005

Sometimes, when I’m bored and lonely, I will write to girls on myspace or lds linkup.  Which is weird to begin with, but I do it anyway, and I don’t care what you say.  Thing is, I never know what to write to these girls.  They probably get a lot of “Hey you’re hot, lets hang out,” and I want to be original and whitty.  So here is an example of one email I wrote to some random girl. 

subject: gay farmer or jolly ranchers
Dear girl,
    Last night, on my way to meet with a mysterious person as part of a long tale of international mystery and intrigue, I bent over to pick something up.  When I stood, I found a knife had been thrown into the wall where my head just was. 
    I quickly jumped in my remote control benz and attempted to run down the knife thrower.  But he was too quick and jumped in his suped up ricer mobile golf cart.  We chased through the city.  At one point we went through an ally, where loading dock workers jumped out of the way as I crashed through their boxes of produce. 
    I followed the farrari golf cart into an abandoned ship yard and down a long row of shipping containers.  Suddenyl I came to a dead end and there was no golf cart to be found anywhere.  I got out to see if I could hear which way he drove away,
    I suddenly found myself surrounded by ninjas with laser guns.  As they crept ever closer, I took off my jacket and put on my white karate headband and black belt. 
    The first ninja lunged at me with his bo-staff in hand, which I quickly stole from him using my cat-like moves.  I spun around with the stick and took out all of the ninjas without even breaking a sweat.  As I turned to leave, I felt a tap on my shoulder.  It was Khan-Zing, my mortal enemy and purveyor of fine pewter figurines.  Withouth hesitation I popped the bo staff up off the ground where I dropped it into my hand and swung it at Khan-Zing’s head.
    He was too fast, and dodged my swing.  His fist countered into my face with a knock out blow.  All faded to black.  Not unlike the metallica song.
    When I awoke, I found myself strapped to a cold steal table.  Above me was what appeared to be a laser of some sort, and it was pointing right at my head.  I heard a voice, but my head was restrained to the point I could not look around to see who it was.  But I didn’t have to look, I would recognize that voice anywhere.  It was Kahn Zing.  He told me that I was to have my head ‘esploded by the laser gun at the strike of midnight.  I noticed a small clock on the ceiling which read 11:57.  It was time for action.
    “Khan,” I said, “I am looking for a figure skating figurine for my neice’s birthday.  I thought pewter would be a fine medium, do you know where I could find something like this?”
    Khan Zing laughed.  “I am not going to fall for that!  You won’t even be alive long enough to give her that gift!”
    “True,” I responded, “but she collects pewter figurines - so maybe I could give you her number and you guys, could you know, hook it up, maybe make some trades or something.”
    Khan paused.  I could hear some papers shifting and a desk drawer open and close.  He held in front of me a piece of paper  “That sounds nice,” he said, “give me her number at once!”
    He let my hand free and I began writing on the paper.  When I finished, he turned it over and saw that I had written “sucker!” on the paper.  Before he knew it, the pen was coming through the paper, landing squarely in his neck.  A gruseome death of which I will spare you the details.
    Now slumped over me, I was able to use my free hand to reach Kahn-Zing’s keys and free myself.  Now to find Misty.  Oh yea, Misty is the girl I was trying to save this whole time.  She was like kidnapped for randsom and is a queen or a business woman or just really cute or something.  I made my way out of the torture room and found myself in a large complex with ladders, pipes, and lots of unnecesary flamable gas tanks.  I grabbed a gun from the gun shelf which was conveniently next to me.
    I heard footsteps coming, so I quickly ducked behind a plant, but it was no use, as there actually was no plant, and I was just imaging it and covering my eyes.  They spotted me.  I shot the gun at a nearby gas tank which exploded in a fireball and threw the gaurds to the ground.  It wouldn’t be long until more came. 
    I made my way down a long spiral stair case where I found Misty in the torture chamber waiting room, reading a newsweek.  I stopped and read some too, because George Bush was on the cover, and I really wanted to know what they had to say about George Bush.  I voted for him, so you know, I’m always ready to back him up when journalists start saying rude things. 
    After we read newsweek, I had to get a drink of water.  So I found a drinking fountain.  Then we were on our way.  We quickly found the exit and ran out of the building.  Gaurds were right behind us, but I turned around and shot the building, which exploded into another big fireball and killed everyone inside, except us - we jumped onto a door that was flying by and surfed on it to safety. 
We jumped in my Benz and drove into the sunset.  I put some sunglasses on.  The day was won.

Posted by sam at November 13th, 2005

    We had our thanksgiving feast early.  Last night Jake purchased the Jones Soda Thanksgiving Feast pack.  Complete with Turkey, Stuffing, brussel sprouts, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie flavored sodas.  Also included in the pack was a moist towelette and a spork. 

    We went through the entire meal and each took a shot of all the flavors.  Let me tell you, Brussel Sprouts was by far the worst thing I have ever in my life tasted. Right after I drank it I discovered that my gag relfex is in full working order.  Even worse, every time you burped you got it full force again.  Blech!

    The only one that wasn’t completly horrible was the Cranberry sauce one.  Decent, not good and far from great.  The pumpkin pie was swallowable, but not “decent” by a long shot.  The rest were horrible.  I recommend them to everyone.