a gthing science project

Posted by Sam at May 15th, 2008

Recently, two church handbooks were published via the popular site Wikileaks. In what was no doubt a knee-jerk reaction from the lawyers that the church employs and probably not the church leadership, a cease and desist was immediately sent, asking for the material to be taken down.

It seems obvious for anyone who spends time on the Internet that trying to get documents removed from the net is like trying to take the pee out of the pool. You’d have to drain the whole thing - and since you can’t drain the Internet you pretty much have to roll with the punches on this one. Sorry guys, that’s just the way it is.

For reference, this is how things work in Internet land:

Church: Hmm… We want to keep this document somewhat private
Wikileaks: Hey everyone! Look at this document that Church wants to keep private!
A few geeks: Hey, cool. I’m going to read that.
Church: Woah there! They don’t have a right to publish our copyrighted material!
Media: Hey everyone, check out this developing situation!
Everyone: Hey. cool. I’m going to read that.

So as you can see, reacting to the situation is only going to make it worse. It’s called the Streisand Effect.

Furthermore, Wikileaks is run by the same guys who run The Pirate Bay. It’s hosted in Sweden. Do a little searching on recent attempts to get them to take down material.

Here’s an idea. While the handbooks in question didn’t contain anything really that bad, why not get people reading a book that you’d actually want them to read? Here’s how:

1. Hire someone to publish inspiring talks, scriptures, etc. on Wikileaks. It’s not hard - “wiki” means anyone can publish stuff on there.

2. Make a big fuss about them publishing your content. Be sure to invoke the DMCA in your legal demands. This will make your claim even more ridiculous as the DMCA doesn’t even apply in Sweden - thus ensuring wider media coverage.

3. Everyone will suddenly want to read your “secret” documents.

Sunday school is so much more exciting when you think you’re reading “forbidden” documents!

Posted by Sam at May 6th, 2008

Deat Malt-O-Meal,

I just wanted to write in with a great product idea that is so good I’m sure you won’t be able to resist it. I was just snacking on some golden puffs (the package said they were good for snacking - and it was right!), and it came to me.

People are always saying they love breakfast for dinner. You know, pancakes, eggs, bacon, the whole nine yards. Or, if you’re poor like me - cold cereal. And I don’t just love cold cereal for dinner, I love it for breakfast too. And sometimes lunch if I run out of Top Ramen.

So here’s my idea: dinner for breakfast! Think about it! It’s the next logical evolution in mixing up meals! Picture it: You’ve done breakfast for breakfast, you’ve seen breakfast for dinner, and now Malt-O-Meal presents Dinner for Breakfast!

You could have all sorts of varieties. A steak and potatoes dinner breakfast cereal could consist of little beef flavored corn pieces shaped like steaks (that’s an easy shape to make), and little marshmallowy potato pieces. Instead of milk, you could encourage kids to use A1 steak sauce (hey, cross branding opportunity!).

Other varieties could include “Pepperoni Pizza” with little pizza slices and round pepperoni (think cooke crisp-shaped), spaghetti and meatballs (the meat balls could be like crunch berries except meat flavored), and hamburger and fries (tons of cross-brand opportunities there - I’m sure McDonalds would be on board).

Then you could encourage kids to use an alternative to milk for each one. Liquid cheese for the pizza, speghetti sauce for the speghetti, and a milkshake for the burger and fries.

You’ve spent enough time immitating, Malt-O-Meal, it’s time to start innovating. I give you this idea free of charge, and will eagerly await the day that you bring dinner for breakfast to the mainstream.

Sincerly,

Sam Garfield