Dear Kid Upstairs-

    Marching band is a noble and worthy task.  I appreciate that you are taking the time to learn the respectable position of snare drum player.  You drumrolls have been improving. 

    The reason for my knowledge of your improving drum skills is the reason I am writing.  I am closely tuned into your drumming because it often takes place, a few feet above my head, in the early morning hour while I am trying to sleep.

    I am happy that you can do an hour long drum roll with no breaks.  It's quite impressive, actually.  What is not okay is when that drumroll is like a thousand piercing needles in my brain.  Whats worse is when you do it for hours all morning, and then when you hear my alarm clock go off, you stop.  You know what - I've been up for hours already, don't mind me!  I couldn't sleep through the marching band.

    I also understand your need to learn how to march in place in time with your drum roll.  But you must understand the walls are thin. 

    Please discontinue playing your drums.  If you do not, I will be forced to put your drumsticks in a place where they will need to be surgically removed.

Sincerly,

Sam and his throbbing head (thanks)