I purchased an iPod today. It's a mini. It is green. I got it for ...uhhh... educational purposes. I guess so, since i got an educational discount on it. I really can't afford it - but I have a credit card, and those are made of free money, right?

So after I got it I realized that apple is up to something fishy. The iPod was producing a very low level hum through those little white headphones. I could only detect it because I was making a recording on my computer directly from the headphone output jack. I noticed the hum sitting below my audio file on the frequency chart. You can hear it, amplified, here, although it will probably be inaudible with whatevr speakers you have.

When importing the frequency into my audio program I noticed that it is a solid tone at 7.8 Hz. This is known as the "Schumann resonance." It is the frequency at which the brain operates, and also the frequency that the magnetic field of the earth emits. When a loud 7.8 Hz frequency is played, it can really mess you up (make you halucinate, lose bowel control, etc.)

The 7.8 Hz frequency coming out of the headphones is very subtle, and not audible to the human ear. I isolated it in my audio program, aplified it, and then raised the frequency to make it audible. It sounded like screeching with short breaks in it. Realizing that raising the frequency also sped up the audio, I artifically slowed it back down.

What I hear amazed me. In a very low, monotone voice I heard "I now belong to the iPod army." repeated over and over. I took more samples and applied the same process. The message repeats about 37 times and then changes to "I will follow instructions given to me by the wozniak," which repeats 37 times, and then changes to, "I will build the iPod army," which also repeats 37 times. It then starts all over.

It's really a genious idea. Those little white headphones are specially made so they can reproduce a tone so low - and they inject it directly into your ear and into your subconcious.

Apple is starting an army, and they are brainwashing people into following their commands. I can only assume that a future update will contain the words "storm the white house, take no prisoners." Needless to say I contacted my congressman about this in addition to the better business bureau.

Members of the ipod army are easy to spot, just look for those little white headphones. I think apple did this on purpose, so it would be easy to tell who their minions are. Check it out, these people have already been infected!
Notice the white headphones!

In the mean time, I just...can't .... stop listening to the wonderful music spewing forth from my new iPod. It's so ... hypnotic.