Last night I was at CompUSA shopping for a new monitor. I got one, by the way, a 20.1" widescreen that is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen (besides a 24" or 30" widescreen). While there, I took a peek over at the current PC laptops to see if any major advances have been made from the days of clunky plastic and poor design that turned me to the dark side that is Apple computers earlier this year.

No advances have been made. In fact, when I noticed Acer's latest offering I just had to laugh. It's hard for me to describe to you how HUGE this thing is and have you understand without actually seeing this monstrosity. You may just need to take a trip to CompUSA to see it for yourself - it is truly a site to behold.

This is one of the cnet editors who can barely see over the behemoth. It has a 20.1" widescreen monitor (the same size as the one I bought) that is actually thicker than a standalone LCD monitor. The back up the laptop has a huge plastic lip designed to keep the computer from falling over when the display is adjusted backward.

At nearly 20 lbs., I guess the good thing about this "laptop" is that it is a theft deterrent in an of itself. If anyone tries to steal it, you just drop it on them and they will surely be crushed under its girth. The bad part is, if you ever actually do try to use it on your lap it will cut off your circulation and your legs will turn black and fall off. You won't be able to get the computer off your lap either - oh, you can try but it's physically impossible to lift twice your weight will in a sitting position.

Acer has truly redefined the word "portable" to mean something more akin to "not portable." The product manual for this "laptop" even suggests that you not put it on a desk because it will surely cave under the weight. If you do need to move it, they suggest an external frame backpacking bag, pack mule, or flatbed truck.

"Laptop Transporter"
From the Acer accessories page.

As if one huge Acer was not enough, Dell has introduced a laptop just as big, if not bigger. As you can see, it is a convenient choice if you ride the subway.

I think I'm going to buy one of these just as a joke. I'd never use it, of course, but just have it around for laughs. I'd love to try to take one and use it on an airplane. Better yet, why not just mount a monitor on the side of my desktop computer with a hinge? Pretty much the same thing.