There are 6.6 billion people in the world. Given that fact that 90% of the people are stupid, my calculations indicate there are roughly 5.9 billion people that would be doing planet earth a favor by not passing on their genes to any offspring.

Therefore, I give you part 1 in my 5.9 billion part series: People Who Shouldn't Reproduce

Today's person: Microsoft Zune.

"But wait!" you protest, "Microsoft Zune isn't a person, it's a portable media player!"

Oh, silly you. No, I'm not talking about the product from Microsoft, I'm talking about the dude whose name is legally "Microsoft Zune." At least, it will be once the the judge approves it.

That's right. There is a person on planet earth who is having his name changed to that of a unpopular product from an unpopular company.

The Internet has blessed us with a picture of Microsoft Zune, but I warn you - please sit down before viewing it and strap down all lose objects that might be used for bludgeoning yourself to death.

For those of you who are counting - yes, that's two Zune-related tattoos. Apparently there is a third, but I really don't want to know where that one is.

Fortunately, I think there is actually a very good chance that this kid won't be producing any offspring. At least, not until they remove the requirement of having a consenting female partner. I don't see a whole lot of girls jumping in line for the "Zune" surname.

In the unlikely event that Microsoft Zune does have a child - what would he name it? Maybe he could start with sizes - naming his first child 64GB then 128GB and so on. Or perhaps he'll name his children after the available Zune colors: Black Zune, White Zune, Brown Zune (for the kid he knows is going to be as unpopular as he is).

If you are interested in reading the insane ramblings of Microsoft Zune and a bunch of people who seem to think he's making a smart move with the whole name thing, you can go read his post in the Zunescene forum. But I warn you - if you're allergic to retardation you should probably sit this one out.