Whoever came up with the idea for mail in rebates should be shot, killed, stabbed, wounded, chopped up, buried, unburied, vaporized, and shot onto the surface of the sun. Then the same for their family, their pets, and anyone who has even seen or known them. They should then be vilified in all writings, movies, music, and other media from now until the end of time.

I hate rebates.

Rebates are a clever marketing scheme that some douche came up with to make money. With rebates, you can advertise things for really cheap but actually sell them for a lot more. The deal for a free computer seems great until you read the fine print which says you have to fill out 100 rebate forms and then wait 1,000 weeks to maybe get a mailbox full of rebate checks that expire before you even got them.

First and foremost, rebates feed on the lazy. I take this as a personal attack on my way of life. You already know that the manufacturer simply counts on most people being too lazy to fill out their 12 rebate forms for something that is going to take several months to get back to them.

We are a society that wants things NOW! We don't care about $10 in several months - we could be dead by then. And what would we have to say for ourselves? We spent out time on this earth filling out rebate forms, only to die before seeing our return.

You see, the rebates are always split up into small meaningless amounts. One rebate for $200 might be worth it, but not 20 rebates for $.01, $.50, $1.00,$5.00,$20.00, etc. They make each rebate worth less than the stamp you will have to buy to send it in to them.

Even if you do fill out the rebate form, its hit or miss if you'll ever actually get the rebate. They make the waiting period so long you just forget about it, or fill up their forms with weird requirements so that you don't qualify for the rebate (fill out this form, put your name here in all lower case, here with the second letter of each word in your name in ASCII codes, and here backwards, also include a DNA sample and a 100 page original dissertation on the socioeconomic ramifications of deforestation in southeast Asia). If you miss a single instruction, no matter how insignificant, they disqualify you without notice, not that you noticed anyway because you've already worked the extra money out of your budget.

I don't buy anything with rebates. I see something for $20 after rebate and I think to myself; "self, if you pay more than $20 for that, you're a sucker. Yet, if you count on the rebate you are also a sucker. Self, go buy something else."

At least one store, Best Buy I think, has promised to put an end to all the nonsense. They did, however, give themselves a timeframe of several years to do it. I doubt they will ever get rid of the rebates honestly, because so many people are lured in by their promises of cheap products and free money-by-mail.

I hope you will all join me in boycotting any product with a mail-in rebate. Buy things from people who aren't trying to scam your money away from you by posting low prices with big up-front costs in the fine print.

Go add up how many rebate forms you have sitting on your desk that you have yet to send in. This is the amount that has been swindled away from you.